MPI-Elementary Counseling

Insight Into Emotions

2008-09-04T23:52:54Z

Emotional Intelligence, wrote that all emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us (1995, p. 6). He further stated - The very root of the word 'emotion' is "motere," the Latin verb "to move," plus the prefix "e-" to connote "move away," suggesting that a tendency to act is implicit in every emotion. In our emotional repertoire each emotion plays a unique role, as revealed by their distinctive biological signatures. With new methods to peer into the body and brain, researchers are discovering more physiological details on how each emotion prepare the body for a different kind of response (1995, p. 6).]]> How does this relate to children? When there is a loss, small or big, this triggers an emotion, a movement within. Some emotions are expressed and healed, and others are suppressed and become wounds. If this process of expression is supported, the child's emotional immune system does its work. However, without an outlet, a core infection sets in, and depending on the severity of the loss, causes destructive consequences (Dhaese, 2006). Children's reaction to loss and their responses to the challenges that follow are striking (Jarrett, 1982). Goleman cited that it is difficult to focus when feeling worried, angry, anxious, or sad. Some students get caught up in these states and have difficulty learning. Attention is diverted to being preoccupied with thoughts of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair. The "working memory," the part of the mind that holds information relevant to a task at hand, is swamped with emotional overwhelm (1995, p. 6). While young children may not have the adequate cognitive skills to talk about their hurts or losses, this does not mean they are not grieving. Grief often manifests itself in feelings, actions, thoughts, and behavior. The muscles of the body begin to express in symbolic form what the mind cannot relate. The story of grief unfolds before our eyes in the language of movement, behavior, and play (White, 2003). A holistic approach, one that recognizes and honors all levels of being--physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual--supports the unfolding of emotional expression. One aspect of this is to provide a safe environment with our patience and compassionate presence as we witness and reflect a child's movement and play. Emotions are an important part of who we are. Having an understanding of children and an awareness of their emotions allows inner healing to take place, so that learning blossoms and the joys of life are fully experienced. With Peace, Shirley Rivera *441-3839 *srivera@midpac.edu

The Effects of the Outside World

2007-12-19T18:37:03Z

This the third, and last, of a three-part series of articles on "What Makes Kids Care?"

What About Effects of the Outside World?

Parents understandably worry that their effort at home can be undermined by outside influences, such as their children's friends, daily violence in their own neighborhoods, television shows and movies, or a culture that exalts "heroes" who are selfish.

There are a few things that you can do to help counteract these influences. for instance:

* Give them books that promote compassionate behavior. Keep in mind, though, that kids -- especially teenagers -- don't like characters who are goody-two-shoes, so look for books about "ordinary" characters who perform acts of caring and concern.

* A study at the National Institute of Mental Health found that children who see kindness on television tend to imitate it. For this reason, you may want to limit their viewing of violent programs and encourage them to watch shows that promote ideas about caring and helping.

* Find out about the movies your children want to see: are they excessively violent, do they glamorize criminals or people who get ahead at the expense of others, do they glorify violence to people or animals? While you can't shield your children from everything, a little discussion can go a long way. Ask them to think about what they saw and to consider other approaches the characters might have taken.

* Educate your children about famous altruists. Local museums can provide an inexpensive and enjoyable way to do this, as can television specials and books. Talk to them about whom they admire, and why.

]]> Can Children Become Too Sensitive?

If your child is confronted with the harsher realities of life everyday, you might wonder whether it's a good idea to let then see even more suffering and distress. Other parents might worry that exposing kids to a harder side of life that they've never seen could traumatize the children.

These are understandable fears, and according to some experts, there are cases when children can become sensitive to the suffering of others. This is particularly true of children who are already emotionally fragile.

Not all giving is healthy for the giver; if a child starts placing the needs of others above his own, this could be a sign that perhaps he or she is giving too much.

Several schools have adopted "caring courses" for children, taking students to nursing homes and to help the disabled, and many humane societies have instituted children's "compassion clubs." You can also see numbers of children at political rallies and marches for various causes. Generally speaking, children who participate in these activities have not been traumatized; for the most part, they have adopted compassion and caring into their everyday lives and feel very rewarded by the experience. You as the parent can best judge when your child seems overly distressed.

The Indestructible Link

In the words of Dr. Julius Segal, "None of the approaches suggested here will work in the absence of an indestructible link of caring between parent and child."

What most inspires a child to grow up caring about others is the caring that the child receives. Experts point out that when children feel a more secure base at home, they're more likely to venture out and pay attention to others; it's when they feel deprived of love and nurturing that they focus on themselves and their own needs. Furthermore, that nurturing is itself a perfect role model for children.

Shirley Rivera
Counseling: PS - Grade 5

Reference:

© 2007 American Psychological Association
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How Can Parents Help Their Kids To Care?

2007-11-07T18:40:52Z

This is the second article of a three-part series on "What Makes Kids Care?" that was published by the American Psychological Association. What Can Parents Do? Let them Know How You Feel The most important thing you can do is to let your children know how much it means to you that they behave with kindness and responsibility. When you catch your child doing something that you think is thoughtless or cruel, you should let them know right away that you don't want them doing that. Speak to your child firmly and honestly, and keep your focus on the act, not on the child personally. Say something along the lines of "What you did is not very nice" rather than "YOU are not very nice!" It's important to let your children know how deeply you feel about their behavior toward others. If they see that you have a real emotional commitment to something, it's more likely that the issue will become important to them, too. This emotional reaction needs to be accompanied by information, some explanation of why you disapprove. For example, you can say, "Look, Joey is crying. He's crying because you took his toy away. That wasn't a very nice thing to do!" or "It hurts the cat when you do that; that's why he scratched you. It isn't kind, and I don't want you to do that anymore!" Be frank, honest, and upfront with your kids about what kind of behavior you do and don't like. Also, keep it short and to the point; the idea is to teach them, not make them feel guilty!]]> Role Modeling According to a study by psychologists E. Gil Clary, Ph.D. and Jude Miller, Ph.D., there are two kinds of parental role modeling that help teach children to be caring: kindness to others, and kindness to the child. In other words, actions speak louder than words. If you are consistently caring and compassionate, it's more likely that your children will be too. Children watch their parents, and other adults, for clues on how to behave. Keep in mind that if you say one thing and do another, your children will pay a lot more attention to what you do. The old warning 'Do as I say, not as I do' simply does not work, particularly when it comes to teaching about caring. Not everyone has time to devote to volunteer work or money to donate to causes, but there are small acts of caring that can be part of your family's life. These acts of caring don't have to be grandiose. Doing a favor for a neighbor, taking a stray animal to a shelter, giving money and a kind word to a homeless person, helping out when a group of teenagers are cruelly teasing a classmate; there are all kinds of small acts of compassion that you children can watch you do, and even take part in themselves. Try to surround your children with other people who are kind and caring, so that they have several role models. Another thing you can do is try to find organized ways for your children to get involved. Let them know about places in the community where they can volunteer, and encourage them to join. Many volunteer organizations and churches have special programs for young people and even for children. You and Your Child If you treat your children with respect for their dignity, with concern and with regard for their achievements -- you help them understand that all living creatures should be treated with dignity and concern. One part of this is to reward your children for acts of kindness. Psychologist Julius Segal, Ph.D., points out that just as it's important to let them know how strongly you feel about their unkind acts, it's important to let them know how highly you regard their kind ones. For instance: 'I saw you take care of the boy who fell on the playground. That was very kind of you, and it makes me feel very proud.' In the next issue, the effects of the outside world on our children will be discussed. How can we counteract the influences of daily violence that exist in our world? Shirley Rivera CE/ Counseling *441-3839 * srivera@midpac.edu Reference: © 2007 American Psychological Association 750 First Street, NE, Washington, DC 20002-4242 Telephone: 800-374-2721; 202-336-5500. TDD/TTY: 202-336-6123

What Makes Kids Care?

2007-10-26T00:52:53Z

Teaching Gentleness in a Violent World
It seems as though we are surrounded by violence and cruelty. According to the National Crime Survey, almost 3 million crimes occur on or near school campuses every year; that's 16,000 per school day, or one every 6 seconds. A recent study on domestic violence found that many high school boys thought it was all right for a boy to strike his girlfriend if she angered him; meanwhile, during the early 1980's, nearly 17,000 people were killed by their domestic partners.

In a world where violence and cruelty seem to be common and almost acceptable, a lot of parents wonder what they can do to help their children become 'kinder and gentler'--to develop a sense of caring and compassion for others. Raising kids who care isn't a solution to violence by itself, but you might worry that being exposed to a lot of violence -- whether it's on television or on the streets -- could make your children 'hard' and uncaring.

]]> Parents, of course, can't completely control all of the things that affect their children's lives -- after all, children spend a lot of time out in the 'real world' which can often be harsh, uncaring, or just plain unhappy -- and children have their own personalities and characteristics that parents can't change or control. But there are some things that a parent can try to help encourage their children to become caring, just and responsible.

Are Children 'Naturally' Caring?

People sometimes think that children don't really 'see' the outside world -- or other people -- the way adults do, that they view the world from their own eyes and in their own way. But is this true?

Researchers used to believe that a sense of real caring about others came as people grow into adulthood. But now studies are finding that children can show signs of empathy and concern from a very early age.

For example, a study by psychologists Carolyn Zahn-Waxler, Ph.D., Marian Radke-Yarrow, Ph.D., and Robert King, Ph.D. observed children whose parents were hurt somehow -- either physically (e.g. father having a bad headache) or emotionally (e.g. mother received bad news and was crying). They discovered that even very young children had a pretty well-developed sense of empathy.

They reacted with concern, wanting to help or 'fix' the problem, and they offered comfort and compassion to the parent who was hurt.

For instance, one mother had an argument with her husband and began crying. Her daughter, who was 21 months old, came and sat on her lap and became very physically affectionate: 'Then she leaned over, and kissed me on the forehead. And that just cleared up all the depression, and I reached over and hugged her. And then she began to smile, and she looked relieved.'

It isn't just young children who have these kinds of reactions. And it isn't just for their parents that they have these feelings. A few years ago, a twelve-year-old Philadelphia boy opened his own shelter for homeless people. Many studies have shown that children respond quickly and with concern to a classmate, friend, family neighbor, or to a stranger, who is being hurt. It's well known, too, that children have a natural affinity for animals and a desire to help them.

One study, by Ziporah Magen, Ph.D., and Rachel Aharoni, Ph.D. found that teenagers who were involved in helping others felt very positive about their lives and had high hopes for their own futures. 'It was a wonderful feeling,' reported one student in this study. 'My feeling as free as a sparrow made me feel glad and happy and that life is an exciting thing.'

This articles is from the American Psychological Association. In our next issue, we will discuss "What Can Parents Do?"

Shirley Rivera
Counseling Ps - Grade 5
*441-3839 * srivera@midpac.edu

Reference:
© 2007 American Psychological Association
750 First Street, NE, Washington, DC 20002-4242
Telephone: 800-374-2721; 202-336-5500. TDD/TTY: 202-336-6123

Caretaking of Children's Souls

2007-09-26T23:50:00Z

As parents and teachers, we often provide an enriching cognitive and physical skills environment but sometimes ignore addressing the affective domain. In Young Children, a journal from the National Association for the Education of Young Children (Jan 2000), Susan Turner refers to this domain as the essence of a person’s spirit that gives them life, their uniqueness, and their spark of fire. She refers to this as “canto hondo,” the deep song. We often expand a young child’s mind but forget to equally do the same for his or her soul.

]]> The first note in this “canto hondo” or deep song, is that of safety. Paying attention to their emotional safety is essential. We do this by loving them unconditionally, without our judgments and prejudices of how we want them to be and by paying close attention to their own unique path that is gradually emerging. The next note is celebration. As children grow in stages, so do their abilities to understand themselves as living beings. Something simple as a family meal together or an observation of a family tradition promotes a healthy sense of belonging to a group. Important also is the celebration of a child’s accomplishment of developmental milestones such as a first loose tooth, first participation in a school production, reaching their first two-digit birthday, or the first time riding a bike alone.

One of the sweetest notes in this “canto hondo” is daydreaming. Sometimes we tend to over emphasize cognitive development and push day dreaming right out the door. Supporting and helping children to stand up for and embrace their dreams, not ridicule them, can make a significant difference in their life.

As teachers and caregivers of young children, we hold a sacred honor. When we continue to learn more and care for our own spirit, nurturing and singing our own “canto hondo,” we are then able to care for others in a more genuine way and truly help our children sing their own deep song.

Shirley Rivera
Character Education / Counseling
* srivera@midpac.edu * 441 - 3839

“When soul is present in education...we concentrate on what has heart and meaning.”
--- Rachael Kessler

Being of Service

2007-09-05T19:37:53Z

Often in our lives, we find ourselves reaching out to others for support because difficulty and pain have intruded into our daily living. While many of us have been blessed with compassionate help from family and friends who have stepped in to ease our suffering and provide the support we need, there are many in our own society who have no one. Some of them go hungry and have very limited resources for obtaining food. Our MPI community can be a compassionate part of that much needed support for those individuals and families reaching out for help. By initiating a year-round canned food collection project, we can truly be of service to others. "It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine De Saint-Exupery]]>

Helping Children Cope with Tragedy

2007-04-23T19:40:11Z

Whenever a national tragedy occurs, such as terrorist attacks or natural disasters, children, like many people, may be confused or frightened. Most likely they will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react. Parents and school personnel can help children cope first and foremost by establishing a sense of safety and security. As more information becomes available, adults can continue to help children work through emotions and perhaps even use the process as a learning experience. What Parents Can Do 1. Focus on your children over the week following the tragedy. Tell them you love them and everything will be okay. Try to help them understand what has happened, keeping in mind their developmental level. 2. Make time to talk with your children. Remember if you do not talk to your children about this incident, someone else will. Take some time and determine what you wish to say. 3.Stay close to your children. Your physical presence will reassure them and give you the opportunity to monitor their reaction. Many children will want actual physical contact. Give plenty of hugs. Let them sit close to you, and make sure to take extra time at bedtime to cuddle and to reassure them that they are loved and safe. 4. Limit your child's television viewing of these events. If they must watch, watch with them for a brief time, then turn the set off. Don't sit mesmerized re-watching the same events over and over again. 5. Maintain a "normal" routine. To the extent possible, stick to your family's normal routine for dinner, homework, chores, bedtime, etc. but don't be inflexible. Children may have a hard time concentrating on schoolwork or falling asleep at night. 6. Spend extra time reading or playing quiet games with your children before bed. These activities are calming, foster a sense of closeness and security, and reinforce normalcy. Spend more time tucking them in. Let them sleep with a light on if they ask for it. 7.Safeguard your children's physical health. Stress can take a physical toll on children as well as adults. Make sure your children get appropriate sleep, exercise, and nutrition. 8. Consider praying or thinking hopeful thoughts for the victims and their families. It may be a good time to take your children to a place of worship, write a poem, or draw a picture to help your child express their feelings and feel that they are somehow supporting the victims and their families. 9. Find out what resources your school has in place to help children cope. Most schools are likely to be open and often are a good place for children to regain a sense of normalcy. Being with their friends and teachers can help. Schools should also have a plan for making counseling available to children and adults who need it. This information was provided by the organization "Kids hurt too." Resource: NASP (301) 657-0270 Website: www.nasponline.org Modified from material posted on the NASP website in September 2001.

A Search for Meaning and Purpose

2007-02-21T23:16:09Z

Meaning and Purpose Many of us sense that there is more to us than our body and mind. Sometimes, there is a vibration or a stirring deep within which might reflect a feeling, an emotion, or a sensation that is tied to something we are thinking about. This is part of what is often called our “soul” or “inner voice.” In The Soul of Education (Kessler, 2000), the seven gateways to the soul are introduced. Each gateway begins with a yearning--which when acknowledged can nourish the inner lives of our children, enhance learning, and cultivate resilience. ]]> Education on the Edge of Possibility, Renate and Geoffrey Caine write, “Deep meanings are the source of most intrinsic motivation. They are the source of our reasons to keep going even when we do not understand.” How Can We Help? There are many children and youth who have found meaning in their lives. One of the simplest ways we can continue to encourage and develop this is by helping them discover their GIFTS and to use these gifts to help others. Another way is to awaken our youth to asking big questions about life and validating their quest. The key here is to create a safe environment at home or school for these questions to arise free from judgments. In addition, allowing our students to contribute their time and energy through service learning and community service projects, not out of obligation but for a sense of connection, can be empowering. This “turns purpose into action.” (Kessler, 2000). Through compassionate actions, we as human beings are able to give meaning and purpose to our lives. “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves...” - Rainer Marie Rilke Shirley Rivera * CE: grades 3-5 * Counseling: PS - Gr. 5 * srivera@midpac.edu *441-3839

Yearning for Silence and Stillness

2007-01-17T19:55:00Z

“Brief periods of silence and solitude in school can also give students a tool for cultivating rest and renewal--rest for the nervous system, the mind, the body...” R. Kessler. Silence and Stillness In The Soul of Education (Kessler 2000), the seven gateways to the soul are discussed. Each gateway begins with a yearning--which, when acknowledged, can nourish the inner lives of our children, enhance learning, and cultivate resilience. These gateways, or sets of key experiences, create a framework for inviting soul into the classroom. In exploring this second gateway, we must also face the fact that many of us live fast-paced lives. Quiet moments are slowly being squeezed out by numerous activities and over-scheduled days. The constant noise from the TV, computer games, and programmed activities directs our children’s lives from a very young age. Thomas Moore (Care for the Soul, 1992) writes, “Soul cannot thrive in a fast-paced life.” So, while there is a hunger for slowing down, it may be a frightening experience for some children who are so accustomed to the constant outside chatter and busyness. ]]> When quiet moments are included in a day, the nervous system is given a chance to rest, which also has implications for better health; there is respite from the demands of others, and one’s inner self is nourished. By taking the time to go within, we tap into our emotions, creativity and imagination, sensations, feelings, and intuition. When given the chance to identify our feelings, we are able to strengthen our emotional intelligence--the foundation of social skills and meaningful relationships. Introducing Silence into the Classroom or Home * Start the day (or end it) inviting silence by doing a “Golden Moment.” First, tense and relax muscles, starting at the feet and going up to our heads. Then breathe in happy feelings and blow out sad ones. Breathe in peace, and blow out mad. Do this one, two, or three times. * Play serene music as students enter the classroom or during work time. * End the day with silent reflections: What did you do well today? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? What was hard to talk about today? Why? Did anyone say something to upset you? Or cheer you up? (Be careful to respect their privacy when doing journal reflections). * Take time to listen to the songs of birds, hear the wind in the trees, and see the different colors in nature. * Provide a physical space for alone time, which opens more inner space for learning and reflecting. When we invite silence and stillness, we our honoring our basic human rhythm of moving from the outer to the inner and back again. In doing so, we open the gateway to the soul, which has a powerful effect on spiritual development and learning, and provides a chance to quiet the mind and still the body. “Follow your breathing, dwell mindfully on your steps, and soon you will find your balance.” Thich Nhat Hahn Shirley Rivera Counseling PS-Gr. 5

"The Yearning for Deep Connection"

2006-11-01T20:47:49Z

“Teaching the whole child requires that we accept students for who they are rather than for what they do.” - Alfie Kohn Children yearn to be seen, heard, listened to. They want, and need, quality connections with friends and adults who care for them. From this, they can further develop quality connections with the world around them. Our children and youth thrive on these deep connections where they have a sense of belonging -- where people know them. In Rachael Kessler’s book, The Soul of Education, the seven gateways are discussed, ways that can help balance the "book learning" with heart learning and develop human beings who can interact with their world in a compassionate, respectful, creative, and responsible way. ]]> The first gateway is “The yearning for deep connection.” The deep connections include - * A connection to self; allowing time for quietness and stillness. - Calm breathing, peaceful visualizations, listening to soothing music, simple art activities. * A connection to another; authentic intimacy. - Deeply caring, mutual, respectful relationship with one other person, like a teacher, relative, coach; quality time with a person. * A connection to community. - Having a sense of belonging to a larger group, especially the community at school, community circles or morning meetings; helping service organizations. * A connection to lineage. - Learning about one’s culture, origin of family name; creating a “family tree,” * A connection to nature. - Finding joy and peace in being with nature and outdoor settings, learning about the rhythms of the seasons and the land, touching the earth, planting and nurturing a plant, hiking. * A connection to a higher power. - Allowing, respecting, and acknowledging the higher source of power and the diversity of expressions. “Out of this deep connection grows both compassion and passion--for the joy of learning, for people, for students’ goals and dreams, for life itself.” (Kessler, R.) Wholeness is a journey inward then outward, finding what is inside and then drawing this out. We all want our children to be successful in life. One way is by helping them form deep connections. The inner strength from these deep connections can help our youth face the pressures that often occur in the teen years. “Reading, writing, and arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more humane.” - Haim G. Ginott Shirley Rivera Counseling: PS-Gr. 5; Character Education: Gr. 3-5 *441-3839 *srivera@midpac.edu

Nourishing the Star within each Child

2006-10-04T20:36:59Z

Each child is born with “a seed of spirit,” or a “star,” within. This seed contains the child’s essence. Some of the qualities within this seed are fullness, respect, dignity, integrity, excellence, peacefulness, harmony, maturity, completeness, and joy. (A.H. Almaas, Pearl of Essence) It is this “seed” that forms a connection within each child to something greater than themselves. How close to this essence the child develops depends on how the seed is nourished. “There is very little knowledge and guidance in the modern world about how to develop into such a human being.” (A.H. Almaas) ]]> Kids Hurt Too) In her book, The Soul of Education, Rachael Kessler shares seven gateways to help rediscover essence. "Each gateway begins with a yearning---a yearning that is sometimes fulfilled by merely being acknowledged, a yearning for experiences that can be fostered in homes and classrooms where the heart is safe and the soul is welcomed. These gateways are: the yearning for deep connection, the longing for silence and solitude, the search for meaning and purpose, the hunger for joy and delight, the creative drive, the urge for transcendence, and the need for initiation." In the following weeks we will explore each of these gateways and learn ways to nourish the star within our children as well as ourselves. “The habits we form from childhood make no small difference, but rather they make all the difference.” - Aristotle Shirley Rivera, Counseling: PS - Grade 5 / C.E: Gr. 3-5 *441-3839 *srivera@midpac.edu

Getting to the Heart of Education

2006-09-13T20:50:14Z

In our busy day-to-day lives, we sometimes forget to get in touch with what is in our hearts -- our feelings. Children need to learn how to feel what is in their hearts and be able to express this responsibly so that they will grow up to be adults who know how to connect with others and the world around them in a meaningful way. We often need to be reminded that education is a holistic process that involves not only the mind and body but also the heart. “Students of all ages come to school with their souls alive and seeking connection. Howard Gardner (1993) and Daniel Goleman (1994) documented that ‘emotional intelligence’ is a greater predictor of academic and life success than is IQ. Robert Sylvester’ s work, A CELEBRATION OF NEURONS (1995), tells us, ‘Emotion is very important to the educative process because it drives attention, which drives learning and memory.' ” ( Kessler, The Soul of Education) ]]> Nurturing the Heart. . . How do we nurture what is in our children’s hearts? One way is by setting up simple rituals that allow ample space and time for sharing. Set a time limit, maybe a half hour, to be totally present with your child (no housework, appointments, reading the paper, or watching TV, etc.). In her book, CHERISH YOUR CHILD, Ilana Fernandez offers questions that could open a “window of sharing” with your child, perhaps as a bedtime or dinner time ritual. “What do you like about yourself?” “What did you do today that you feel good about?” “What are you looking forward to tomorrow?” Or you could try the flip side to these questions and help them get a lot off their chest. A word of CAUTION: Be open and non-judgmental when asking these and listen with your heart. “What don’t you like about yourself?” “What did you do today that you don’t feel good about?” “What are you not looking forward to tomorrow?” These following questions can be also used with a friend, a spouse, or partner. “Tell me one thing about your day that was important to you.” “Is there anything I can do to support you?” “Is there anything we need to discuss or that you’d like to share with me?” Allowing our children, as well as ourselves, time to connect with our hearts can help strengthen our emotional intelligence and help us connect with our family, friends, and our environment in a more caring and meaningful way. Shirley Rivera (Counseling PS - Gr. 5/ CE. Gr. 3-5) *Phone: 441- 3839 *Email: srivera@midpac.edu

Meeting the Needs of Students

2006-09-06T19:08:51Z

In meeting the social, emotional, and spiritual needs of students, the elementary school offers students personal counseling to ensure that their concerns are heard and that appropriate intervention strategies are implemented. Every child should feel safe and respected. (MPI Elementary School Handbook 2006-2007)]]> Feelings... Sometimes, not having someone to talk to or someone to listen to you can be upsetting... maybe even cause worries and stomach aches. Many children, as well as adults, are not able to make friends or adjust to new situations easily. For some, these interpersonal skills need to be learned and practiced. Interpersonal skills are part of the eight multiple intelligences. Some of us are stronger in one or more of these areas. In fact, that is the beauty of having different learning styles. For those children having trouble adjusting, develop routines and PRACTICE with them. Feeling safe on the outside as well as the “inside” is important. Imagine what YOU need to feel safe inside you. Then imagine and provide this for a child who may be having difficulty adjusting or settling in. VALIDATING their smallest accomplishments in remembering routines or completing a task that they had difficulty with, does wonders for a child’s spirit. Examples of phrases to use are, “Look what you did today all by yourself!” “That was difficult but you did it!” “I noticed you were having a hard time with this but you kept trying.” “Tell me how you did it!” This technique is called “witnessing.” The key is to witness without judgment in words, feelings, and actions. Be on the lookout for the quiet ones. Remember to acknowledge and validate their smallest accomplishments as well. Children have many feelings and, generally express them openly. Feelings are a part of us. Sometimes when a child experiences an uncomfortable feeling and is unable to express this, the energy caused from this can block learning. Our counseling program can help with releasing this energy through play, puppets, sand stories, art, music, or gardening. For more information about our “Heart-to-Heart” counseling program please see our elementary school handbook or feel free to contact me. Shirley Rivera (Counseling PS- Gr. 5 / CE, gr. 3-5) *Phone: 441-3839 *Email: srivera@midpac.edu